Savage Beauty
by Jules Kelly
Summary: Destruction of the forest only escalated in the years following their seperation. Hate consumed San's heart till she was nothing more than a savage animal. Will Ashitaka's love be enough to bring her back?
1. Chapter 1

**Savage Beauty**

_Chapter One_

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A soft stream of air ran its way through the forest causing the trees to sway gently back and forth in a bizarre rhythm. Moonlight poked a path through each sparse patch of foliage and landed on the cold, wet forest floor. It had been raining all day and had only let up a little over an hour ago. Raindrops still slowly dripped off each leaf, tracing a line of symmetry across their green surfaces before falling to the ground below.

She shivered slightly as she rubbed her bare arms in an attempt to create some heat. The wind and the rain had created this cold summer night, and she lamented that this was one substantial sign that it would soon be autumn. The leaves would slowly die and fall to the ground to eventually decompose. Trunks of trees would continue to stand, but they would be stripped of their rich green coats.

The beauty of the forest would disappear, but she would be left alone, untouched.

Before the Forest Spirit disappeared, autumn never happened. The entire forest was green all year round. Even when it snowed, they still retained their beauty. Now, their bare limbs reminded her of the destruction that the humans had caused to her peaceful habitat. She had witnessed the chopping, the burning, and the complete demolition of her world.

Previously, she had been laying at the base of a large tree, taking a nap before night fell upon her surroundings. After seeing the evening hours had already evaporated while she was lost in her slumber, she quickly jumped to her feet and took off running.

Her body was still set in sleep mode, and she fought her limbs to get them to work properly. The cold air entered her lungs and caused her entire chest to feel as though it was frozen, but she kept on running. She had to get there before they did.

She could already hear the loud chops as axe met wood. The screams of the trees reverberated in her head as she neared the intruders' position. Her legs felt rubbery and useless, but she pushed herself to keep going. There was the sound of splintering wood and a loud thud as one of the tallest trees fell to the ground. Everything seemed to shake around her including the ground that was beneath her feet.

It was as she feared. They had already begun.

She slowly crept up behind the thick trunk of a tall tree. The murderers were standing only a few feet from her, but they gave no sign that they were aware of her presence. Her bare feet dug into the fresh mud as she positioned herself for a surprise attack.

Her onslaught came without any warning or any forgiveness.

She drew her knife slowly from the sheath that was attached to her body by a loose strip of red-colored fabric. The mundane blade failed to reflect any sort of moonlight as she placed the hilt in her hand and closed her fingers around it. Her feet pushed further into the mud as she launched herself out of her hiding place and onto the back of unsuspecting man.

Their screams could have been heard from miles away, echoing down into the lowest valleys in the surrounding area. But in less than five minutes, the seven distinctly different voices were silenced. Their bodies lay lifeless with the red and orange withered leaves on the forest floor.

She stood, motionless, knife still in hand. Her breath was smooth and relaxed. Her body neither shook uncontrollably nor froze completely. No tears leaked from her eyes. She once again willed her legs to move, and she walked over to the nearest brook, where water flowed freely at a relaxed pace.

Her knees bent instinctively as she lowered herself to the water's cool surface. Her small cupped hands dipped into the water and brought a small amount up to her bloodied face. She rubbed vigorously, trying to remove the blood that covered her entire visage, but she could not rid herself of the smell.

The smell of a human. It was both intoxicating and disgusting.

The moon came out from behind another gray cloud that had tried to hide its brilliance, and its light illuminated the forest surroundings. She looked back down at the water, which now provided her with a strong reflection of herself. Small splotches of blood still covered her pale white skin, but that was not what concerned her. Her brown eyes stared at herself in hatred as she brushed the ends of her unkempt, roughly cut hair away from her face.

While most girls would have killed for a face like hers, she despised every feature of her face and body that made her who she was. Her hand ran its course over her forehead, down her small nose, and over her rough lips. She looked at her ears, which both had large shells handing from her lobes, and breathed in disgust. The fur that made up her clothing covered her smooth skin underneath of it, and she lifted up the pelts to observe more of her human qualities.

"Why must I be cursed like this?" she asked, her voice sweeping out in a low whisper. It was the first time in a long time that she had spoken at all.

She picked up a large, black rock that sat next to her at the brook's edge and tossed it into to the water, distorting her reflection.

"Why do I have to look like this?" she said as her image came back into focus after the water had stilled.

"_You're beautiful,_" a strange, calm voice whispered.

She jumped up in fright, waving her knife around at thin air. No one was anywhere near her, but she could have sworn that she heard something. She kneeled back down at the brook again but kept the knife clenched in her fist just in case someone tried to sneak up on her.

"I almost forgot that I looked like this," she said, looking back at the reflection. "I've forgotten so much…"

"_You're beautiful."_

"No, I'm not!" she screamed, jumping up to face the dark trees that surrounded her. "Leave me alone!"

No one answered. A drop of sweat emerged from her forehead and slowly fell down her flushed cheek. She adjusted the leather strap that encircled her head and kept her dark brown hair at bay. Her hand traveled from her hair to the string of shells that hung about her neck.

As she was inspected this trinket, she noticed another chain that hung around her neck. She slowly pulled it out from beneath her shirt where it had been hiding. At the end of the clean chain hung a beautiful crystal dagger that shone brilliantly once the moonlight reflected off of it.

"I don't remember…" her voice trailed off into barely a whisper.

"_San!_" It was the same voice, only it was panicked and frightened.

"San?" she questioned. "It seems so familiar…"

Her gaze traveled back to the reflection in the brook. Her eyes softened a bit as she looked upon herself with remorse.

"San…" she took her gaze off of the small stream and looked up to the starless sky. "Yes…that was my name…once."

San dipped both of her hands back into the brook one last time before standing back up and preparing to leave. With one last look back at the spot where she had disposed of the seven intruders, she sprinted away from the area as the morning sun began to rise over the hill.

"I can't remember these things now," she said as she sped along between the trees. "The forest needs me. These memories will only distract me from my purpose."

San kept on her current pace, but her mind still was bothered by the voice she had heard. Was it familiar? She thought it was, but she was also afraid of what could happen if she remembered who it was.

"_You're beautiful."_

Stopping suddenly and shielding her eyes from the bright revealing rays of the sun, she frantically looked for the cave that she had recently made her home. It had been many weeks since she had been out in the daylight, and she felt as though it might burn her away in just a few seconds.

Luckily, her cave was only a few paces to the right of her. She stumbled inside of it and adjusted her eyes to the darkness. Lying down on the cold floor, she felt a strange sleepiness overtaking her body.

"_You're beautiful." _The voice repeated.

"You're wrong," she muttered as she drifted off to sleep.

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**A/N: **Hello, all! This, of course, is my very first Princess Mononoke fanfiction ever. So, I'm really excited! I've taken some liberties with the story. Such as the whole autumn thing. And maybe some more descrepencies will pop up later, so please don't jump all over me for making minor changes. Anyways, read, review, and enjoy! 


	2. Chapter 2

**Savage Beauty**

_Chapter Two

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_

It was another terribly cold night. The wind howled through the cracks in the loose boards that made up the small shack that Ashitaka stayed in. He woke with a start, sweat covering his face and stinging his eyes.

"Another dream," he muttered as he wiped his forehead with the back of his hand.

He refrained from calling it a nightmare because the reoccurring dreams hardly frightened him. They were more intriguing than anything due to their mysterious nature and guarded meaning. Usually, the dream started with him standing in the middle of a dense forest with his feet planted firmly to the ground and his arms glued to his sides. Something moved in the bushes to his right and then his left, but he couldn't shift to see what it was that threatened to attack him.

And then it jumped. Quick and effortless. The bush rustled only slightly as a small figure clothed solely in the skins of various animals came out of its hiding place and landed merely a step or two in front of him. The attacker appeared as a mix between a human and an animal. Its face was splotched with the same curse that had once covered Ashitaka's right arm. Its hair had leaves strewn amongst the tangles of greasy brown strands.

He had no idea what this thing in front of him was. But then he saw the crystal dagger that hung on a strip of leather around its neck.

"San?" he whispered, his eyes widening in shock and disbelief.

It growled low and ominous. Digging into the loose dirt, its hind legs poised themselves for an attack.

"San…it's me, Ashitaka." His voice lost all of its strength as he looked down upon her current physical state. "What happened to you?"

Her bloodshot brown eyes locked on his, and he imagined that he saw some glance of remembrance. Then, the leaves that covered the trees began to quickly change colors. From green to red and brown. And finally, they shriveled and fell from their harboring mothers to the ground below.

The creature in front of him shivered in fright as one of the leaves landed on its head before floating to join the rest. It picked up one single leaf and let out a shriek of pain as it accidentally pulled it apart in its rough, calloused hands.

"San," Ashitaka said, his voice starting to gain some strength. "It's alright. It's only autumn. The leaves will come back in a few months. Everything is alright."

The two brown eyes lifted up from the corpse of the leaf and stared in utter sadness. Ashitaka finally felt the ability to move his right arm and extended his hand out to the figure groveling on the floor before him.

"Please, San. Please come back with me. I can take care of you."

Ashitaka thought that maybe she was about to take his hand as she lifted her arm from the ground. Just as their fingertips were almost touching, a loud blast sounded from the dead bushes behind her as a bullet ripped through the layers of animal furs and pierced her heart. The hint of life quickly left her eyes, and she fell to the ground, crushing the leaves beneath her.

And that's when he always woke up. Right before he could scream uncontrollably. Right before he locate the person who had carried the gun.

It was in these moments that he always wondered about San and where she might be. After the Forest Spirit had died, he would go to meet her every week in the forest. She wouldn't stay long, but it was enough to let him know that she was still alive and doing well. Then one day, she didn't show up at all. And he never saw her again.

That had been five years ago. For all he knew, she had moved on and created a new life that didn't include him.

Dreams like these made him wonder and worry.

Involuntarily, he lifted his body up from the roughly made cot that laid on the straw covered floor. With joints creaking and popping uncontrollably, he stood up and his head very nearly scraped the ceiling above him. Wiping the last remnants of sleep from the corners of his eyes, he stumbled forward until he reached the solid wooden door. Hardly summoning any of his strength, Ashitaka slid back the door and stepped out into the chilly environment.

Next to the wooden shack was a small stable where Ashitaka kept Yakkul, the red elk who had accompanied him on every adventure he had ever braved. The quiet animal remained in his state of slumber as Ashitaka approached the stable and leaned up against the side of the small structure. His lungs filled up with cold air as he took a huge breath and softly sighed.

Off in the distance, Iron Town stood, rebuilt and renewed. Ashitaka could see the fires burning over the tops of the trees that separated his residence from the island where the prosperous town was reconstructed.

"She promised that it wouldn't be like this," Ashitaka said as he surveyed the industrial expanse before him.

The forest around him seemed to shrink as the fires from Iron Town were being fueled by the strong women he had befriended five years ago. He could imagine them together, laughing and joking, while slaving to keep the flame alive. It was hard work, but they stayed with it and rarely complained. They would have done anything for their Lady Eboshi.

Ashitaka wanted to blame Lady Eboshi for the declining state of the forest, but he couldn't bring himself to place the fault on the head of one person. It wasn't just the people in Iron Town, either, the whole world could have been held guilty for the destruction of nature. In the end, however, how could anyone be blamed for just trying to live?

The sun began to rise, creeping over the mountain peaks and the tops of the trees. The world was bathed in a fiery orange glow for a few moments before changing to the pale yellow that would remain until dusk. Still, the wind was not warmed by the sun's spreading heat, and the air remained cold and empty.

Ashitaka felt a slight pull on his blue shirt and realized that Yakkul was nibbling on the soft fabric. He reached his right hand back and patted the elk on the head. After releasing Ashitaka's shirt from his mouth, Yakkul exited his stable and walked down to the small stream at the edge of the forest with Ashitaka following close behind him.

The water was cold and refreshing as Ashitaka splashed a small amount on his overheated face. Taking his small red bowl, another reminder of his link to the long forgotten Emishi, he dipped it into the stream and extracted a nice amount of water to drink. Yakkul conservatively drank from the creek as Ashitaka stared straight into the forest and was silent.

"Do you remember San?" Ashitaka asked the red elk.

Yakkul extracted his mouth from the stream and looked at his friend in acknowledgment.

"I had another dream, and it makes me wonder what happened to her," he commented before taking a small sip from his bowl.

After playfully nudging his friend's shoulder, Yakkul went back to drinking from the creek.

"I remember the day that I first saw her. She was wild, yes, but there was also something enticing about her. Even though blood covered her face, I did not fear her. Now, I fear the thought of what may have happened to her."

Suddenly, he sensed movement in the forest in front of him. Standing up, he placed an arrow to his bow and stood ready in case of an attack. The forest had grown wild in the days since the death of the Forest Spirit and attacks were more frequent as the animals reverted into the ways of savages as a means for survival.

"Something's out there," Ashitaka said as Yakkul lifted his head from the stream upon sensing the same movement.

Empty and foreboding, the forest stood before the young warrior and his elk. Sunlight poked through its canopy of treetops creating different shades of yellow amongst the prevalent green and brown. A stiff silence fell upon the forest except for the quiet buzz of a few pesky insects.

"Maybe it was just my imagination," whispered Ashitaka even though he refused to lower his bow.

Suddenly, there was a loud rustle in the foliage as nine black birds suddenly took flight. Spreading their dark wings, they lifted themselves in a perfect v formation up to the blue expanse that hung over them. Ashitaka watched them fly away in wonder and amazement as they explored their new found freedom, but still his bow remained at the ready.

"It wasn't birds that I sensed," he said, keeping his eyes on the forest. "But it wasn't humans neither."

A big, lumbering man appeared in the distance walking towards Ashitaka and Yakkul. Taking giant steps and harshly plunging his feet into the soggy ground, the man walked with an air of importance that just came across as ignorant arrogance. Ashitaka knew without even seeing his face that it had to be Gonza, Lady Eboshi's number one guard.

"Outsider!" Gonza addressed him once he approached the other side of the stream. "I was summoned to take you back to Iron Town. Lady Eboshi wishes to speak to you."

"What about?" Ashitaka asked, puzzled at why she would wish to see him again.

"You can ask questions when you get there! I was ordered to use force if you did not comply with milady's wishes."

"That will not be necessary," Ashitaka assured.

A look of disappointment colored Gonza's face as Ashitaka lowered his bow and began putting a red bridle on Yakkul. It had been a while since he had been to Iron Town, and Ashitaka wasn't entirely sure that he wished to go back yet. What could have happened that Lady Eboshi urgently wished to see him? Many questions flooded his conscience as he set off with the grumpy bodyguard for Iron Town, but he tried to push them out of his mind.

One thing that didn't stop bothering him however was the feeling of being watched as he moved through the heart of the forest.

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**A/N:** Thanks for all of the reviews! I appreciate it most greatly! Hopefully I'll be able to stick with this story and the updates won't be few and far between. But alas! I have school! Ah well, please read and review! 


	3. Chapter 3

The sun drooped down behind the forbidding mountain tops as darkness overtook the rest of the quiet world

The sun drooped down behind the forbidding mountain tops as darkness overtook the rest of the quiet world. As the last ray of light forsook the forest, her eyes immediately snapped open and she abruptly sat up. Every bone in her body ached, and she contorted her body in order to pop her back and neck. Both of her eyes held the last remnants of sleep in their corners, and she rubbed at them till she could see clearly.

No dreams…

There hadn't been one single dream that she could recall. Usually, she retained one dream upon waking. Most every dream involved a short scenario where she ran through anopen field with her brothers racing alongside of her.

Now, however, her mind felt empty and useless. She rubbed her head in hopes of remembering some shred of reverie, but the action was to no avail. The only thing in her head was the voice that had plagued her all last night.

"_San!"_ The panic in the voice was evident, but she couldn't figure out why. More importantly, she couldn't figure out who it belonged to.

"My feet hurt," she sighed as she picked herself up off the hard floor. Her eyes roamed around the dark cave as she adjusted to the lack of light.

The air was still and completely calm. San wrenched her aching fingers through the mass of tangles that fell in front of her face. The buzzing of small insects could be heard echoing from deep inside of the forest.

Everything was dark. She could barely make out the shapes of the trees that were rooted just outside of the entrance to her cave.

Then, suddenly, thirty torches lit up and the world was bathed in the light of the blazing fires. Throwing her hands in front of her face, San attempted to shield herself from the blinding light, but she was too late. Her eyes burned from the penetrating light, and she stumbled backwards and fell onto the cold ground, uncovered rocks scraping her legs and arms.

"Savage!" yelled one of the shadowed intruders, extending his arm to lift his torch as high into the night sky as it could go.

She didn't waste time in answering his bellowing voice but quietly slipped further into the shadows of the cave. Her body was bruised and torn, yet she still managed to keep her wits about her. Hoping that they would go away, she waited in the darkness, clutching at the knife that she kept at her side.

"Savage!" the man yelled again, after a brief moment of silence that caused the multitude to question whether they had the right place. "Come out, and we promise not to harm you!"

San paused, her brown eyes questioning and unsure. Why had they come looking for her anyways? Was it because of what happened last night?

"Why should I?" San shouted, letting her curiosity grab hold of her.

Honestly, she didn't expect them to provide a rapid response to her rebellious inquiry. Instead, she figured that they would retort back with some bloated remark about how they would kill her as another alternative. Their response, however, left her puzzled and even more confused than she already was.

"I can hear it in there," one of the other villagers said. The voice was young and frightened. Was he terrified by her?

"Are you sure that it's not just some wolf or a bear even?" asked another voice. This one was older, wiser, and more careful in his slow delivery.

"No, it's in there, alright," the leader replied, waving his torch back and forth in search of any sign of movement.

"If I don't come out, what are you going to do?" she yelled, cupping one hand around her mouth to increase the volume of her shout.

"Maybe this wasn't a good idea," whispered the young boy, his teeth chattering from fright.

"We don't even know if this is the right cave. That could just be some wild animal growling in there," replied the wise man, causing San to wonder what he meant by "growling." Had she growled?

"It's in there, alright. I could smell the blood on its claws a mile back."

San crept forward on her hands and knees to get a closer look at the mob. The leader's face was the easiest to distinguish because he pulled his torch close to his body whenever he conversed with the wise man on his left. He looked battle-worn, with a scar spanning the length directly below his right eye to the base of his jaw. Apparently, he hadn't shaved in days, and a black beard was beginning to form on his face. Gritting his teeth together, he took one step toward San's hiding place.

"The reward isn't worth it if you get us all killed," warned the wise man, pulling off the hood of his navy cloak to reveal a closely shaved head.

"Reward?" San mumbled to herself, extracting her knife from its sheath and gripping it in her hand.

"It's not just the reward. It's killed more people in the last two months than Lord Osano's troops have killed in the past year. I've got to stop it!"

"What?" San questioned herself, trying to recall how many people she had killed recently. It had just been the men in the woods, right? That was the extent of it, wasn't it?

"Don't be a fool, Shin!" warned the old man. "We don't even know what it is. Don't get ahead of yourself."

"If you have a problem with it, then leave! Our village needs the money, and most of all we need to get rid of this thing before it finds our village and kills our children."

San crept closer to the entrance of the cave, trying to avoid the orange glow of the torches. The ground was cold, and each time she moved a new rock jammed itself into her skin. She winced and tried to remain as quite as possible.

"If only my brothers were here," San whispered to herself. "Where have they gone?"

She heard the sharp sound of a sword being drawn from its sheath.

"This could go on for hours. I'm going in," said an unsteady young voice.

He moved slowly towards the cave. San pressed her back up against the cold wall, clutching her knife close to her chest. A drop of sweat fell from her matted hair to the tip of her chin. She took in a deep breath.

"Leave me alone!" she yelled.

The boy stopped approaching her cave momentarily. She hoped they would all leave her in peace. Instead, they whole mob began to move forward. She didn't want it to be like the last time, but they were giving her no choice.

"I can see its eyes glowing bright red," one of the men said.

"Did you hear it growl again?" asked another.

"Why won't you humans leave me alone?" she yelled, standing up in the entrance of the cave.

The men stared at her for a moment and then ran towards her. She held the knife tightly in her hand and closed her eyes.

It was over before she knew it began. She could feel her arms moving. She could feel the wind against her body as she leaped into the air. She landed on the ground and opened her eyes.

They were all dead. Except for one. A young boy who couldn't have been more than twelve years old stood before her. He held a short sword with both of his hands. His whole body shook with fright.

"Go back to where you came from," she said. "And don't come near my forest again."

The boy stared at her with two brown eyes that dominated his face. His long brown hair pooled at his shoulders, and his mouth hung open.

"You heard me," she said, wiping the blood off her knife on her skirt. "Never come back here again."

He turned around and ran deep into the forest.

San looked at the pile of bodies surrounding her. She knew she had killed them, but for some reason, she couldn't remember actually plunging the knife into their throats. It had just happened. She had been frightened. So had they. But they didn't know who she was.

She walked away from her cave, knowing that she could never go back. She never wanted to see that carnage again. Besides, her brothers had to be somewhere nearby. They would find her eventually.

"Why must these humans come into my forest?" she thought, running through the trees with the cold wind against her face. "I hate them. I hate all humans!"

"_San…_"

It was the voice again. She shook her head, hoping it would go away.

She stopped in the middle of a clearing. The light of the pale moon illuminated the grass beneath her feet. She slumped to the knees and fell prostrate on the ground. The earth was cool, and she wanted to sink into the ground.

But a voice stopped her.

"_Live…_"

"Why?" she asked, her voice catching in her throat.

She pushed herself up with her arms, and that's when it caught her eye. A deep purple mark on her left arm. It was almost like a bruise except she knew she had seen it somewhere before. The very center of it was dark and the edge was a lighter color. She scratched her arm as though she could just wipe it off.

But the purple scar remained…

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**A/N: **So, this chapter was two years in the making. But I finally came back to it because I've been thinking about it lately. So, here it is: Chapter Three two years in the making! Eee!


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